Like Sims, Only Real Life

You know how every girl seems to have this fantasy of growing up, finding that one perfect guy, getting married, maybe having some children and some pets and a job that she really likes or perhaps her husband has a well-paying job so she can just relax and pursue her interests? I never had that dream. And yes I also realize that was an incredibly long sentence. But, honestly speaking, I have never really thought about that "perfect guy." I'm sure every girl thinks about it a little bit, and I have too, and I realize that this has nothing to do with anything, but here goes. My perfect guy.

My ideal man... We'll start with physical appearance. I'd want him to be taller than me, but not a whole bunch. Maybe about three to five inches. He should either be heroin-chic skinny or slightly muscular. He should have longish hair, that's perfectly floppy, whether it's straight or curly. Every time he smiles his entire face ought to light up as though he's absolutely thrilled to see me. He also should not be disgustingly hairy (if he can pass it off as endearing I suppose it's ok). He can have face stubble though. But he is definitely not allowed to have that pathetic little goatee sort of thing that every guy in my school seemed to be trying to grow last year. I don't care too much about his clothes... Nerd jeans are sort of endearing, or he could be wearing those perfectly-fitting-yet-still-baggy jeans that are so hot. The only thing I can't stand is when his pants are ripped to shreds for no reason. Hopefully he has a couple of cute hoodies and he lets me wear one. Band tees, some casual button downs, maybe some slim fit t-shirts. Wears a belt occasionally, doesn't match his shoes. He canNOT wear tennis shoes/athletic shoes all the time! It pisses me off even though there is no legitimate reason for it to make me so mad!

This fantasy boy needs to have good taste in music. It doesn't have to be the same as mine, although there should be some overlap so we can sit in the dark and hold hands and just listen to music. Actually it would be really hard for him to have good taste in music and not listen to something I listen to, because I just know a lot of music. I really hope that didn't sound pretentious... Music is a biggy. No music, no boy. He will be able to play an instrument, might be in band, or even like A BAND, and is working on either guitar/bass/drums/harmonica, perhaps even banjo. He has this amazing voice, not necessarily a good singing voice, but when he whispers cute little nothings in my ear it gives me chills. He needs to know what I'm talking about when I reference certain classical pieces, and he should have a good understanding of the 90's grunge scene even though I don't.

My dream guy needs to be intelligent, but I'm not saying he has to be more intelligent than me. I'm insecure enough that I like being smarter. It's not a good thing, but still, it happens. He should read, but he doesn't have to read as obsessively as I do. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and the Eragon series are a necessity, though, and hopefully he digs the classics too. He watches Star Wars, and uses mildly inappropriate pick-up lines, but only when he's joking and only to me. He watches anime, but not so much that I feel bad that I don't know more about it, and sometimes he presents me with new shows. He reads webcomics. We laugh at inside jokes together. He's a dreamer, and a believer, an optimist, and all the happy things I wish I could be. My parents don't have to like him, although my guy will respect them even when I don't. He gets along with my siblings. He lets me be alone sometimes, but he knows when I really need someone even if I won't say it. I don't get jealous; he shouldn't either. He isn't clingy.

He should be funnier than I am, and nicer and more sociable. He will have one really good friend but a larger group of slightly more casual friends that I mostly like. He will get my slightly cynical sense of humor and watch Nightmare Before Christmas with me more than once. My guy would laugh at my that's-what-she-said jokes and all manners of inappropriate sex jokes, and he won't berate me for my catty comments on different promiscuous girls in my school. He will let me make marginally uncalled-for jokes about hipsters and even make some of his own. Every once in a while he will take me to events or places that require me to dress up just because he knows I like excuses to wear dresses and high heels and lipstick. He's the kind of guy who never really thought about going to prom at all but took me anyways because he knows how happy it would make me. He would probably wear converse with his tux, and look amazing.

And now, all closing thoughts on my supposed perfect guy. He needs to keep his nails clean, and if his feet smell bad he should at least do something about it. If he has ever shaved his legs or if he does shave his legs, that's ok. Absolutely no crack, smack, or meth should ever be done by this boy. If he smokes weed, then that's acceptable, as long as it isn't very often and not around me. If he has done LSD or ecstasy that's whatever as long is it doesn't become a habit and he doesn't do it ever when he's over twenty-five. I don't know why twenty-five is the cut off age, it just is. Actually, no drugs are allowed if we're in high school. It's going to sound weird coming out of a fourteen year old mouth, but he needs to be able to handle his liquor. I don't want him to be drunk for some reason and come to my house crying and then throw up in my bathtub and pass out in my brother's room or something. Believe me, it happens. If he does drink, he needs to have at least reasonable taste in booze. He is not allowed to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon, a known preference of hipsters and piss-poor college students. He needs to be older than me, anywhere from two to four (or five, as I get a little bit older) years older. He needs to say what he means. Piercings are wonderful and amazing, but he needs to be able to pull them off. As for tattoos, he can have some but he isn't allowed to be completely covered in tattoos. Maybe like one or two. He should like mac n cheese and pizza rolls and spicy food. He should blow bubbles with me. And most of all, he needs to have an inborn sense of respect for everyone around him.

I guess that is my dream guy. I've never thought so intensively about it, but I suppose this pretty much sums it up. Also, I'm going to keep a diary of sorts of every song that pops into my head and starts playing it's melody whether I want it to or not. So far today it's been "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and some song by Katy Perry but I can't remember the title. And for a while I couldn't get that one pop song that goes "All the right moves in all the right places. Yeah, we're going down," out of my head.